tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38525173480290030842024-03-04T23:43:16.137-08:00This Is My TherapyNicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.comBlogger100125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-27496773542186204892014-10-13T23:09:00.000-07:002014-10-13T23:09:40.896-07:00Long TimeIts been close to a year since I last opened my blog and added to it. My life seems to be an insane mess but I probably would not have it any other way. I love my life, as screwed up as it is. Tim and I are no longer attending school at COCC but instead are enrolled at Ashford University as full time online students and neither of us have had much luck at employment except for Tim's random odd jobs here and there. We struggle monthly to pay bills and so we planned a big change for our life. Tim was going to leave the state, he was going to go to Montana and we had is all planned and set up for over a month. We had a close friend move in to help me out and help cover bills till Tim had a steady income coming in but it all fell apart when a contact in Montana did not come through and in less then two days Tim was back. We still have plans to have the friend stay here with us and help us out, I love having him around and my boys love him. Tim is now back out daily looking for a job and is just as frustrated as always but he is dead set on supporting us as he believes that he should.<br />
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Tim and I have also decided to start making changes in our life and how we live it. We are making person changes to ourselves and other changes. We have had a dramatic last few months with some friends and have now cut all communication with them and I for one seem happier now that they are not sucking my happiness away from me and feeding on it, I guess they are what some call vampires. I also have a lot of personal things that I need to work on, besides the physical things I need to take care of I also have so many mental and emotional things to work on. I can and do have seriously bad jealousy issues that I am now determined to work on and also major insecurity issues that I want to work on. I am also still struggling with depression and I know that writing and such is good for it so I want to try to write at least once a week whether it be here in this blog or in a private notebook. There are also a few other life changes that Tim and I have been working on for months that we just are not ready to speak about at the moment but once we figure out when the right time is we will say.<br />
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We have been talking about so many things that we want to do in the future. We WANT to move to Montana as a family, have a fresh start away from all the drama. Montana is an amazing state and is perfect for me to unschool our boys without having to worry about laws and people trying to tell me how to raise and educate my kids. Its also beautiful with so much I want to show my kids and teach them about. Moving there would also allow me to pursue my dream of being a internationally board certified lactation consultant, something I have been dedicated to since I had Dante almost 6 years ago. We also, well more me, want to one day expand our family. We technically are not suppose to talk about more kids for at least two more years as agreed one after Trystan was born but it always comes up. I am not allowed to talk about getting pregnant till I am physically healthy and have talked to a high risk OB GYN about it. It kills me inside and scares me more then anything to think that I may never get to carry another child within my body, that I will never get to experience the excitement of getting a positive pregnancy test again, seeing the first ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat for the first time or feeling the first little kicks again. I am so scared that I will never get to experience a full health pregnancy and that I will never have the home water birth that I have dreamed my entire adult life of having. I have so many feelings about it.<br />
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I just think I needed this post to get things out there and just talk. I really do not have anyone that I can truly openly talk to about a lot of things that I want to and need to talk about. I am so different from my family and friends that none of them would really understand me and some would probably turn away from me if they knew the really truth. I hide so much that only Tim and a select few friends know about because I feel that they are the only ones I can truly trust and talk to. Oh well I guess that is probably how everyone is anyway...Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-783853537704549532013-12-04T08:40:00.000-08:002013-12-04T08:40:32.540-08:00New Start (unfinished)We have now been in our new home for over a month. It still doesnt feel anything like home though. There is of course something missing. I havent been able to bring myself to go back to Fossil and go to the house. Im scared to go back...scared of what may happen to me if I go near it. I have in my head an image of what it looks like now that its been practically abandoned by the family. I may be miles away from that place but I can feel the pull of it so strong. I know I need to go back one last time to completely close that chapter of my life but I just cant make myself do it. I think of home everyday, I think of what was left there. All the memories and years spent there. The thought of never being in that house again, never having the family gathered around the table during the holidays. I miss when I was younger and would come home from school and the house would smell of my grandmothers cooking and grandpa would be easy to find out in the shop. Memories are constantly haunting me, they follow me everywhere I go. I will do or say something that reminds me of home. I will freeze and watch images of the past float through my head. My old life had been invading my present life so much I find it hard to consentrate on much of anything anymore.Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-59999745143414798502013-09-26T00:22:00.000-07:002013-09-26T00:22:33.797-07:00Breaking My Safety Net and Falling ApartIm scared, Im not afraid to admit that anymore. It has taken me along time to be able to openly admit that to anyone. There are so many unknowns that are ahead of us and now Im losing the only safety net I have ever known with no way to turn back. I sit and cry at random times almost everyday for the last month. It makes it hard to function on any given day and its hard to explain to Dante why Im sad, its also hard to explain why he cant just go see grandpa or grandpa cant come back even after almost five months. He has never been away from him for more then a couple weeks so I can only imagine the questions he has that he doesnt ask.<br />
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We have been in our 'new' home for a couple weeks now and I just cant bring myself to unpack anymore or dig out the photos and everything to make it our home because to me this is NOT our home. Our home is over an hour away not here...<br />
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We are suppose to be starting our new lives, tim has applied at a temp agency, we are both scheduled to start school Monday and we have found someone to watch the boys when we are in class...but i really just dont care. I should be excited about this, everyone says that and everyone is excited for us but im not. I zone out at my computer daily fighting back tears as I look at things that I have that should not be here, things that belong in my grandparents house. Im constantly awaken at night to their voices, I constantly see them in my dreams. Im always thinking of that house and all the memories in it. I wonder about what will happen the day I see a sold sign on it...how will I react, how will i feel, will i be alone and in Fossil when I see it or will someone tell me about it while I am over here?<br />
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Im trying my hardest to get to the house one last time, I know i will more then likely go alone and that scares me. Im scared of the silence when I walk into that house, of the ghosts that haunt it when no one is around. Im scared of the flood of memories that hit me when Im in there now. There is nothing left in that house but the memories and ghosts.<br />
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That house haunts me, when Im in it something doesnt feel right. It still doesnt feel right. Its hard to let go of something that wont let you let go. Its like that house has a tighter hold on me then I do.Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-85917712885853466182013-08-07T22:15:00.000-07:002013-08-07T22:15:25.059-07:00Blog Challenge ~ Day 5,6, and 7 lol<div style="text-align: center;">
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Comfort food... I really don't know if I can narrow it down to just one or well if I really have one. I guess when I think about it that one thing that I turn to the most when I'm feeling sad or I'm upset or what ever is Tostitos chips and jalapeno cheddar cheese dip. I mean its really one of the biggest things Ive turned to ever since my second pregnancy and other then that I cant think of anything I really crave or want as a pick me up. But crappy now is that I want some and the store here closed a long time ago lol</div>
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Sagittarius, if you ready about it you will actually find a lot of different descriptions of it online but I will use the one at astrology.com (click the photo to go to the page). It is said that Sags are constantly looking for knowledge and truth, I would say that is me. I'm constantly wanting to go back to school, I'm constantly researching different topics to learn about them, I'm constantly questioning what I am told or I was raised to believe. I enjoy talking to others to learn their points of views. I'm also one that loves to travel if it means I will learn something new or expand what I already know.<br />
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I love to look at the whole picture, the entire scheme of things I guess you could say and take it all in. As much as I love for others to agree with the ideas and plans I can come up with I am also willing to listen to others. Although I also have the ability to speak my mind and not put a filter on what I say, usually what I'm thinking it what you will hear and I will also argue my points and view till I'm blue in the face. Its just who I am and if I feel strongly about something be ready to for what you may not like.<br />
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I could probably keep going and pick apart that article and add to it but I will stop. I will say that I am a Sagittarius through and through. If you want to know who I am just learn what a Sagittarius is all about.<br />
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Favorite childhood toy would honestly be a toss up between my Barbies and my two Cabbage Patch dolls. I had a ton of Barbies, I even had a convertible car, a jeep, one carry case that turned into a house, one carry case that looked like a fancy closet, a horse and a bunch of other crap lol I still have all the collectible ones that my grandmother bought me and I hope one day to either hand them down to a daughter or granddaughter. I also had two Cabbage Patch dolls. A little white girl and a little black boy. According to my mom we would get strange looks from people due to a little blond haired white girl packing around a black doll, oh well I loved him :) I still have them and their certificates and everything and I cant wait to hand them down either. I have actually been thinking of getting each of my boys one too but we will see. </div>
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Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-4785773300710025212013-08-04T22:29:00.001-07:002013-08-04T22:29:28.432-07:00Blog Challenge ~ Day 4<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Views On Religion</h2>
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Oh boy lol Ok well most people reading this are most likely off of my Facebook page and they should by now already know that I am a follower of Paganism. I am pretty sure I have already in my life heard everything that people say about Pagans out of ignorance since usually only those that follow it are educated about the true meaning of it, so for that reason I will link a few good articles on it at the bottom of the page.<br />
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My view is that most organized religion is corrupt. Most of those that follow an organized religion do not practice what they preach. I mean the Bible is so loaded with crap that so called follows don't even bother to follow and then become defensive when called out on it. Most (but not all) push their religion so hard on others that it turns people off to them and their religion and causes others to judge them and that religion and all those that follow it. One of the main things I guess that bugs me is that the Bible or the Lord commends that no person shall judge another person yet these God Fearing people are constantly judging others. I have also witnessed so many so called religious people that when they screw up the say it had something to do with their Lord. Now I believe that everything happens for a reason but when you keep making stupid choices that screw up your life or the life of someone else do NOT blame someone or something that didn't make that choice, you were given free will for a reason. I could literally go on and on about this but I really don't want to make people pissed at me.<br />
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See the reason I choose and have stuck with Paganism as my faith is because there are no set rules, no laws to really abide by. There are mainly common sense rules like "do what ye will but harm none" and the karma law that says if you intentionally do wrong or harm towards another it will practically come back and bite you three times as bad. I as keep saying Paganism or Pagan instead of Wiccan or Wicca or Druid or Druidism etc... because like certain organized religions there are branches that branch off from the center of the belief system. I do not personally identify with any one branch of Paganism there for I fall under the entire tree and refer to myself as only a Pagan.<br />
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Anyway I will cut off here before I say or well type something I may regret :) please feel free to read the links before and research my religion more.<br />
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<li> <a href="http://spiralgoddess.com/Pagan101.html">http://spiralgoddess.com/Pagan101.html</a></li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paganism">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paganism</a></li>
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Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-39167652251906159092013-08-03T23:07:00.003-07:002013-08-03T23:07:54.581-07:00Blog Challenge ~ Day 3<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Top 5 Pet Peeves</h2>
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To be honest when I look at this topic my mind blanked lol I know I have plenty but I seriously had to Google and find a list of COMMON pet peeves in order to pick out the top 5 that bother me. Oh <a href="http://www.getannoyed.com/" target="_blank">this</a> is a great list of pet peeves.</div>
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1 ~ <span style="background-color: #e8e8e8; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Noisy eaters.</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> Honestly I didn't think that this really was a bother to me till the last couple months. Dante my 4 year old and his father have been driving me insane. They are both noisy eaters, Dante because of course he still hasn't mastered chewing with his mouth closed and Tim I'm guessing is just a naturally noisy eater. I've found myself using a lot of self control to keep from yelling at them to be quite lol</span></span></div>
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2 ~ <span style="background-color: #e8e8e8; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Someone standing over my shoulder reading the computer screen.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> Ok lets admit it, this is just annoying. I personally dont like and cant stand people stand behind me (yes standing in lines are hell for me!) so someone standing or sitting behind me and reading off of my computer screen or even my phone is super annoying. </span></div>
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3 ~ <span style="background-color: #e8e8e8; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> I have been a legal licensed driver since 2005, I have not once taken up two parking spaces unless that was the ONLY option due to the assholes the seem to enjoy doing it just to irritate everyone else. I seriously do not see what is so hard about parking between two lines.</span></div>
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4 ~ <span style="background-color: #e8e8e8; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Women who wear too much perfume.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> OMG this ones has to do with child hood memories lol my grandmother was a chronic over doer of perfumes and I always had the misfortune of sitting behind her in the car when we would go somewhere lol the smell would make me sick and to this day it still does. </span></div>
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5 ~ <span style="background-color: #e8e8e8; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Ignorant people.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> Yeah Im pretty sure this one is self explanatory and has stemmed from my work and research with many causes that I care deeply about. I mean what is so hard or so bad about learning something new or doing a little research on something? I just dont understand people sometimes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Ok now I am going to admit these probably are NOT my true top 5, although the last one does kinda have to do with them, those would relate back to my activist work related to natural birth, anti-routine infant circumcision, breastfeeding, baby wearing, attachment parenting, baby led solids/weaning, etc...</span></div>
Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-54508518673059888112013-08-02T19:40:00.002-07:002013-08-02T19:41:21.839-07:00Blog Challenge ~ Day 2<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Where Would You Like To Be In 10 Years</h2>
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In ten years... lets see it will be 2023, I will be 36, Tim will be 45, Dante will be 14 and Trystan will be 11. We should be about to celebrate 16 years as a couple and roughly 6 years of marriage (we plan to be married around our 10 year anniversary in 2017). I would hope that we would have a couple more kids by then but that's still unsure. I would imagine we are living in either Redmond or Bend Oregon, probably still renting a place but I have no issues with that since it can be cheaper then buying. I want to have a full time photography studio that does everything including birth photography by then and also be working part time as an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) at the local NICU and birthing centers. I would also hope that by then I have been able to straighten out the crap with DHS and the nursing board and be able to continue on to get my Masters in Nursing. Although only time will tell what happens and what I am able to accomplish especially with two small children to take care of when trying to work and attend school at the same time. I just have been trying to keep my mind focused on one goal at a time yet there are so many for me to choose from that it makes this difficult at times. </div>
Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-12831480247587383622013-08-02T16:39:00.001-07:002013-08-02T16:39:35.157-07:00Blog Challenge ~ Day 1<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Discuss Your Current Relationship</h2>
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I'm thinking day one topic could come out interesting or turn wrong. I'm not going to use this as a way to rant about Tim or complain about us or anything like that. Truth is no matter what we go through or what happens we still always have a super strong bond and extremely strong love for each other. I mean its kinda strange, after almost 6 years together we have admittedly had some very tough and trying times but it seems that no matter how bad it is we are always smiling, laughing and happy with each other not long after a fight. I can be pissed beyond everything at him and he can just look at me and I start smiling and laughing at him lol</div>
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I'm honestly not sure what to put in this post. How do I describe or discuss my relationship... honestly I cant. </div>
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Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-77838291147304784472013-07-31T21:31:00.003-07:002013-07-31T21:31:42.818-07:00~ 30 Day Blog Challenge ~<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Ya this should be interesting to see if I can keep with it. So far out of all of the challenges that I have seen this is the one that I liked the most. Of course this will be on top of the other random posts that I make. </div>
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<br />Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-77299689830958023582013-07-29T22:29:00.000-07:002013-07-29T22:29:10.603-07:00Ramblings<div style="text-align: justify;">
Its halfway through 2013, I've posted very little this year mainly due to the lack of a computer but I as you can tell now have a computer. So much has happened since I last posted. The last post I published from either blog was in my weight loss blog and that was back in February, for this blog it was December 31st. I cant help but think about how much has happened and its constantly in a jumble in my mind, I just cant understand how a year can be so bad.</div>
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So far this year I have lost two family members, two people that I care about deeply. I lost a cousin in January unexpectedly, I left so much unsaid to her and I regret not getting to know her better or making an effort to go she her, and then my grandfather in May. My grandfathers death hit me the hardest out of all the deaths I have dealt with over the years. This is probably because I have lived here with my own family taking care of him and this house for the last 4.5 years. My grandfathers wish was to die at home, that he did. Everyday I am haunted by the memories of watching him slowly slip away from us, I am haunted by the memories of this house, I am haunted by the memories of my childhood. I thought I was fully prepared for what I was going to see and what I saw but all the training that I went through, all the stories I read and were told never prepared me for seeing it myself and seeing someone i loved go through it. I have now realized I do not want to work in that section of health care. My grandmother pushed me to do it but my grandfather made me realize its not for me. I think the hardest part of watching him pass was seeing him and hearing him talk of the end, he knew it was happening although none of us wanted to admit it and none of us thought it would be so fast. See just a month before he was in the hospital and told he was dying of cancer, he was given 6 months but he didn't even make it a month. I remember him coming home and one night asking me what we had planned to do if he passed away, i didn't know, i hadn't thought about it. This house was, is and will always be my home. The last time he was in the hospital is when I drove him to my uncles so they could take him in, he told my aunt he wouldn't make it to Memorial Weekend, he was right. He left us May 17, Memorial Weekend when we as a family usually celebrate were instead placing him in the ground. I was left to fill the hole in my heart and deal with it alone that week leading up to the burial by my own choosing, I had sent Tim and the boys away the day before. Now I was left to shift through, organize, junk and pack all the memories away. What was I to do? Even after the funeral and having Tim and the boys home I still was so lost. I never had something effect me so much in my life, never will I probably ever again.</div>
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Its now July, we are still in my grandfathers home for now, we do have plans to move but like I said no matter what my mom or my uncles do with this place is was, is and will always be my home. Its my boy's home. We are left now picking up the pieces of shattered lives, memories, etc... we are struggling to connect as a whole family. we are struggling to tie up loose ends and sort out what was left behind. My grandfather left us a mess to clean up and its not working out the way we all want it too. Its hard to explain without going into details that can not be at the moment explained. I guess the main two issues for us are whats happening to the house? and well my car... see back on April 1st the last thing that my grandfather ever did for me and the boys was go in with Tim and sign for us to get a 2006 Pontiac Grand Prix, Its a much needed car as well with two kids and living hours from anything you kinda need something right? Well with his name being on the car and him now being passed away it seems to have screwed up things. We are being told one thing by the credit union that holds the loan and the D.M.V. and my uncle in being told another thing by a lawyer that I do not trust and in turn tell my mom this. Its causing so much stress right now that I am not talking to my mom and I'm preparing to loose the car. I know when my grandfather helped us he never expected this, he didn't know this would happen and probably never imagined it or anything like it happening. I had never thought he would help us anyway, but then in the last couple months of his life he was a different person, he wasn't grandpa anymore, he wasn't the tough as nails logger/military vet, he was grandpa just grandpa. </div>
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Oddly enough usually I can sit down and get a blog like this out in one night but this one has to this point take me a week or two to get here. I now get so easily overwhelmed by emotions that I cant see or think. I miss two people right now, I have so much I want to do with them and say to them. I miss my grandparents so bad. I know that what I'm going through everyone has to go through but this doesn't seem natural, it doesn't seem right. In the months to come I hope to be able to update on the house and everything, I hope to be able to say its still part of the family but that I cant be sure of and don't feel like it will be that way. I have watched so much leave this house only to feel in my gut that I will never see it again. Just this weekend I watched as my grandfathers 1973 International Scout II drive past the house for what my gut says was the last time I will ever see it. It was promised to me by my grandfather but it has to be sold and I do not have the money. I pray that a family friend will buy it but my heart says that will not be what happens so for now I am keeping a close eye on craigslist hoping to see it at least one last time in a photo. But this is life and we go on, as much as it hurts, as much as I want to just curl up in a ball and cry and never get out of bed I must go on and live my life the way I believe that my grandparents, that my grandfather would want me to.</div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>THIS IS MY THERAPY</u></b></span></div>
Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0Fossil, OR 97830, USA44.9529073 -120.07589844.2331233 -121.36679149999999 45.6726913 -118.7850045tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-66366962452376139232012-12-31T23:34:00.002-08:002012-12-31T23:34:41.774-08:00Two Thousand Thirteen... Ive been thinking about what I want to accomplish in this new year. The hours are slowly ticking away and soon it will be here (started writing this post early afternoon 12/31/2012). I have a list in my head, i mentally cross off one thing and replace it with something else but seem to never be satisfied with it. I don't want to call them resolutions, that just seems depressing especially with knowing that some will not even be started and some will be started but not finished. Goals, that sounds better, they are things i want to do. Some of my goals are smaller, easier to do. Some just seem trivial and not to matter. Others are full on life changes that may cause me to struggle and want to give up. I want to make my life better and my boy's life better, i want them to grow up being proud of us as a family. Currently my list is on the longer side, but as this new year creeps by I hope to slowly truly cross things off and make it shorter and shorter with each passing month. So before I get to the list I want to wish all those that read this Happy New Year!<br />
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~ 2013 Goals ~</div>
<ol>
<li>Starting January 1st ~ track all meals and drink intakes on MyFitnessPal</li>
<li>Starting January 1st ~ no soda, energy drinks, sports drinks, etc... allowed in the house</li>
<li>Starting January 1st ~ will stick to a 365 photo challenge</li>
<li>Starting January 6th ~ early morning weigh-ins once per week</li>
<li>Starting January 7th ~ early morning workouts, will be starting TapouT XT from the beginning</li>
<li>Make my first weight loss goal by summer and my ultimate goal by my 27th birthday in December</li>
<li>I will not cut my hair till I reach my final weight goal and then will donate it to Locks of Love</li>
<li>Will have all admissions and financial aid paper work completed in time to register for Spring 2013 or Fall 2013 term at Central Oregon Community College</li>
<li>Will start classes for photography, foreign language and nursing (to use towards becoming an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant</li>
<li>Will put money into savings and not touch it, a minimum of $50 per month</li>
</ol>
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I'm fully sure that there are more that are floating around in my head but with all the thoughts and things flying around in my head I cant get them straightened our right now. I'm sure as I cross something off I will add something else but for now this is a good start. </div>
Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-86030206143862704292012-12-30T20:53:00.000-08:002012-12-30T20:53:34.471-08:00As 2012 Comes To A Close...(this may contain an overload of photos lol)<br />
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I reflect on what has happened this year. We just finished with the holidays and celebrated Dante's 4th birthday early and his true birthday is today. This year like every year has had its ups and downs, good moments and bad moments. We started out the year happy and looking forward to the future and wound up fighting for my life and our sons life just a few weeks later. Im glad to say that both boys are healthy and happy now and I hope to never have to see either of them in the hospital ever again.<br />
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I have started things and stopped things and kicked myself in the ass more then once. I have so much that I wanted to do this year and wasnt able to do or even come close to doing. I have so much and more that I want to do in this coming year. I have made some small steps to lead in the direction that I want to go and take my family in but seriously it seems like something always stops me. I do plan on making a post on January 1st detailing what I want to get done and what I think I will be able to do but for now heres some recent photos.<br />
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Christmas ~<br />
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Dante's Early Bday ~ </div>
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Dante's Birthday Lunch ~ </div>
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<br />Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-56438379012218546212012-12-10T22:33:00.001-08:002012-12-10T22:34:31.015-08:00No-Poo ~ One Month InOk so the last time I posted about my no-poo experience was November the 25th, since then I kinda slacked but havent used commercial shampoo or conditioner though. I washed my hair on November 28th, December 2nd and then slacked and went an entire week without washing me hair. I also slacked and didnt get photos on the 2nd. Im still rather enjoying this although it has brought to light some hair issues that I have.<br />
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First thing is that the ends of my hair are seriously split and dry. I knew the I needed to go in and have it trimmed and relayer but i didnt think it was as bad as it is, I will probably need a couple inches taken off of each layer which Im not liking since I promised myself I would not cut a sizable amount of hair off till I reach my goal wait which at the earliest wont be till next Summer. I want to be able to donate more then the minimum of 10 inches to locks for love.<br />
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Also I realized how badly I want to change my hair color. I have chosen a medium blonde that is called Pearl Copper, will post image below of it. Im hoping it turns out good and not too orange or copper looking but Im willing to take the chance I mean after all I did accidentily turn my hair orange once before anyway lol but it wont be till after Christmas that this happens since I need to get my hair cut first.<br />
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Anyway I will try to post weekly as promised but with Christmas, Dante's bday and a few other things in the next couple months it may be less often.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4_pX0BJ9k7QGWD4hq5oupHEIZOgVciR1Fi716HUzFIl5gOocXXXhlJH9PC6WuQc68OPNp68TaRT2Ps9Y1Ts9sZnCpWVQkKcnzq_paINJgZEv3SyWjXKkzzpeKmbjzJIck0kd8SanMmg/s1600/mi_z_8-24_l_lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4_pX0BJ9k7QGWD4hq5oupHEIZOgVciR1Fi716HUzFIl5gOocXXXhlJH9PC6WuQc68OPNp68TaRT2Ps9Y1Ts9sZnCpWVQkKcnzq_paINJgZEv3SyWjXKkzzpeKmbjzJIck0kd8SanMmg/s400/mi_z_8-24_l_lg.jpg" width="364" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this is what the medium blonde Pearl Copper is suppose to look like so I guess we will have to wait and see</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ok the top three are from November 28th<br />
The bottom three are from yesterday December 9th</td></tr>
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<br />Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-45936472511213057622012-11-25T20:29:00.000-08:002012-11-25T20:29:23.217-08:00Two Weeks Into No-Poo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Earlier on my personal Facebook page I was asked if I was happy with the results of no-pooing. My answer, TOTALLY! My hair is shinier, softer, less frizzy, easier to handle, my scalp is no longer itchy and I no longer have flakes from dry scalp. I have completely stopped using styling products and anti-frizz creams, serums and sprays. It also seems that my hair is starting to lighten up from what I came to know as my brown color to a softer brown or maybe even blonde once again since my hair was blonde when I was younger. For once in my life I am falling in love with my hair. I cant wait to see what my hair will be like after a month, then after two months and then after three months! </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRLsbFbYMX_in5vNxci9PLsIWMZCT3rFHdKqDxaQJ710STvZ6CGxQSMs5wdF4sbDLs8NVVxEi_bYmjtj2osKmdtjotqZMM7bBpIYL14jh5AV-XW3ERkPi8_uIwOoW0xTxfp6Kz-NWcQ7w/s1600/DSCN7873-tile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRLsbFbYMX_in5vNxci9PLsIWMZCT3rFHdKqDxaQJ710STvZ6CGxQSMs5wdF4sbDLs8NVVxEi_bYmjtj2osKmdtjotqZMM7bBpIYL14jh5AV-XW3ERkPi8_uIwOoW0xTxfp6Kz-NWcQ7w/s640/DSCN7873-tile.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Week 2 Wash 1</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr5jlFCzHJESkoSZtlAlX_KYvuIZM5K47p-hKSTmICt-720ypjo2Azeg-_yGydSaqTJIo_cFhlY_svHw0xHUwtmXIpyZe177fhS5GsC1aDoL1PwPXotJO9zQoLXE7EokkukIS7g1dcoTM/s1600/DSCN7961-tile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr5jlFCzHJESkoSZtlAlX_KYvuIZM5K47p-hKSTmICt-720ypjo2Azeg-_yGydSaqTJIo_cFhlY_svHw0xHUwtmXIpyZe177fhS5GsC1aDoL1PwPXotJO9zQoLXE7EokkukIS7g1dcoTM/s640/DSCN7961-tile.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Week 2 Wash 2</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTLkqjBJMQw9LmZT4XF-p7fHyPQPwR9oOY0PS2VbTu2ZlMlao0KhWxpEWM4Bhgl42qkNFGQRLFLkKPA08f0LMDrFaDTZyPKdyPwMLXjsJvLX9Q6iWNi3yHX763nk951LR0yu7bPxBL4jo/s1600/DSCN7563-tile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTLkqjBJMQw9LmZT4XF-p7fHyPQPwR9oOY0PS2VbTu2ZlMlao0KhWxpEWM4Bhgl42qkNFGQRLFLkKPA08f0LMDrFaDTZyPKdyPwMLXjsJvLX9Q6iWNi3yHX763nk951LR0yu7bPxBL4jo/s640/DSCN7563-tile.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Commerical Shampoo and Conditioner vs Two Weeks of No-Poo</td></tr>
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Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-20397977010592054992012-11-19T11:24:00.000-08:002012-11-19T11:24:08.244-08:00Week One Of No-Poo Complete<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ok I'm a day late on this but oh well lol but yesterday marked one week of doing the whole no-poo thing. I have a love hate relationship with it so far but my hair at least doesn't seem overly greasy. Seriously though one moment my hair will look nice and in a way to were i will love it and then the next I'm a fuzz ball of frizz lol I know that I have to find a happy medium with this but sheesh this is crazy. I'm honestly starting to think that I jumped the gun with the coconut oil way too soon and threw off my hair big time. It was starting to look so nice and soft and wavy/curly till I did that and now it just seems flat and frizzy as all hell. Maybe in the next week it will start to regain the beauty that I was starting to see in it but Im not holding my breath.</div>
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Starting with this week Im going to try to only wash it a couple times and I will post the results and photos on Sunday, I will also post a photo of my hair in a t'shirt turban lol Ive been reading all over the internet how traditional towels are harsh and too heavy for natural curly/wavy hair and is the main cause of all the frizz and that a soft old cotton t'shirt is typically the best to use to dry the hair. So I dug around in Tim's dresser and found an old shirt and used it yesterday and today when I did my water rinse on my hair. I find that it actually dries my hair pretty nicely and my hair doesn't have water dripping from the ends like it did with the towel, the verdict is still out on the frizz part though. </div>
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Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-32027786939344082662012-11-18T13:57:00.002-08:002012-11-18T13:57:19.131-08:00Living With Preemies, My Experience<div style="text-align: justify;">
(A day late but better later then never)<br />
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Today is November 17, 2012, World Prematurity Day. As a mother of two boys that were born early I have had plenty of experience with the world the revolves around NICU's and doctor appointments and worries and fears. I also though have a lot of experience with seeing miracles happen both from the stand point of my boys and from the other parents and babies that we shared the NICU time with. I could easily turn this post into a brag post about my boys (and there is a lot I could brag about) but this isnt about just them or us, its about the hundreds of thousands of babies that are born too early every year in just the USA and the millions that are born too early all around the world yearly. Yes I plan on talking about my journey with both of my boys but I want people to know that this isnt just a small issues that can be easily over looked, this is bigger then people want to admit to and well it needs to be admitted too and thrown out in public view for people to talk about and help fight against. I hope deep down that the more I talk about what we went through the more it will help other parents that are or have been through it. I have listed a few of links at the bottom of the page that over the last year or so I have found very helpful although there are a lot of other links that I could add I dont want to have a list that goes on and on and on lol so actually if any of you have any links that you find helpful please feel free to post them in a comment. </div>
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So I would like to go all the way back to 2008 and speak a little about my first experience with premature birth and everything that comes with it. The day that I had Dante is still a blur, it was such a whirlwind of things happening that even almost 4 years later I am still trying to piece together everything that happened that day and the days and weeks after. I remember going in for my 32nd week appointment and being hooked up to the monitor for a non stress test (NST) and not being able to have the machine pick up on any movement even after being given orange juice to drink. I remember even with being on blood pressure meds that my blood pressure was high (although when ever I go to a doctors office my bp shoots up). I remember being told to go check into L&D and having them monitor me and after 30 or so minutes being put into an actually room and having nurses coming in and out and no one telling us anything. One nurse finally said that doctor was coming to talk to us and that we would not be leaving. I kinda remember Dr Weeks coming in and saying that I would be a mother before the night was over (although I already considered myself a mom, I knew what he meant). I remember being given two option, inductions and risking my son and I not surviving it or a caesarean section (c-section) and getting him to the NICU asap and having a better chance of survival. The more I think back on that the more I want to believe that they used my vulnerability against me, my youth and being uneducatedness against me and well fear against me to get me to ok a c-section so they could go home earlier and not have to deal with a laboring mom at 32 weeks gestation. I have yet to obtain a copy of my records but that is something I want to do for both my boys within the next 6 months to a year. Anyway...I remember calling my mom and saying they are taking him that night. I remember breaking down in the room waiting for my mom to get there and for them to prep me for surgery. My son was no were close to being full term, no where close to being ready for this world. After that I cant remember anything much other then being in the OR, cold from being numbed, hearing my son cry and Tim leaving my side to be with him. I realize that its probably my mind that is blocking most of the things that happen to save me from constantly reliving it all. I already know that I will probably always suffer depression, anxiety, panic and PTSD from everything that happened. That birth was no where near who I had planned or imagined it ever happened, I had planned a completely natural birth, I wanted to feel all the pain, all the power that a womens body has and I am being completely honest I feel that it was unfairly ripped away from me, that it was stolen from me. </div>
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The next 24 hours was touch and go for Dante in the NICU and I couldnt be with him and Tim went home with his parents to get some rest and things that we needed to stay at the hospital. I didnt get to be with Dante for 24 hours and in that time I was taken back into the OR because they were unable to get me to stop bleeding. Dante was in a room with people that I didnt know all alone fighting to stay alive and I was fighting to not bleed out but I at least had my mom with me. I was scared for both of us. I remember the first time I saw Dante, it was just my mom and I and she made sure to get a photo of my holding him for the first time and for that I couldnt thank her enough. He spent the next few weeks fighting to stay with us, to get off the machines and be a strong little boy. I tried the best I could to pump breast milk for him but after a couple weeks I started not responding to the pump as well and was slowly losing my supple. I remember all of a sudden I no longer felt connected to my son, to Tim. I no longer wanted to leave the room at the Ronald McDonald House to go see my son, I was being thrusted into postpartum depression head first and I didnt even know it. Finally after numerous fights and betrayal by Tims family, numerous fights with Tim and being threatened with CPS and losing my son I sought help. Although all I did was a couple therapy session with a therapist that my OB sent me to I felt better and was finally able to go into the NICU and take care of my son, he was now able to come home and I was now finally able to be the mother that he needed.<br />
I wont go into detail about the emotions and the fears that I felt during those almost two months but they were numerous and would take forever to go through. I think the biggest fear the we and all preemie parents deal with is whether our baby or babies are going to survive. I know that Dante wasnt a premature as some babies but he was extremely small for his gestational age. He struggled a lot to breath and eat, he still struggles to eat enough and gain weight, after all he is almost 4 years old and roughly 30 pounds. He is healthy by all means and happy as can be just small. We are lucky to have no health problems as of yet with him but I know that things can always happen down the road especially with a preemie child. I have been left with a fear that something will happen to him or that we will take him into a routine check up and they will find something but then I guess that is every parents fear.<br />
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More of Dante's story can be found here ~ <a href="http://lifeitcanbeabitch.blogspot.com/2010/11/blogging-for-preemies-premature-birth.html" target="_blank">link</a><br />
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Now lets fast forward from 2008 to 2012 (this may turn into a birth story since i dont remember actually writing one it may be long). I am 34 weeks pregnant with baby number two, Ive had a few issues with blood pressure but meds are doing their job, im being more closely monitored and the meds are doing their job. Ive been told that once Im 37 weeks that Im a go for my VBAC that I had planned for for so long, although I had plans to prove my OB wrong and go past my estimated due date. Sadly that wouldnt be the case, I would become a mother to a second preemie baby and go through all of the fears and worries and motions again of NICU life. My regular OB was not on the day I went in for my 34th week appointment so I saw someone else. Blood pressure was up and they were worried with my history, I was sent to L&D. I knew in my gut I was not going home. I feel that since I had already been through this once before I was able to process everything better and remember most of the details. I was checked into a room, told I was not going home, I was now on hospital bed rest till the figured out if baby needed to come now of we could give it some more time. I had Tim go home with my grandfather and our son to get things situated, to find someone to watch our son since my grandfather couldnt and my mom was too far away to come get him. That night after Tim left was a nightmare! I was told that either my heart or liver (they couldnt figure it out at the time) was trying to fail me and I had to go one very strong meds (magnesium drip) and that there was a possibility that I would be life flighted to a larger hospital hours away and away from all family. This scared me beyond belief and I couldnt figure out why they wanted to move me when they never mentioned it with my first (after everything neither could my regular OB or the NICU staff). I remember calling Tim's phone and leaving a message cause he wasnt back in service yet and calling my mom, both messages were nothing but tears, I was scared. My aunt and uncle came to be with me for a couple hours that night, it helped having them there but it was also very awkward since the last time I had really talked to them we were in a huge fight. Anyway while they were there the doctor came in and said that they were going to keep my there in Bend but I would be on a high does of mag and would have my son by the end of the week, and that I did he was born that Friday via my second c-section. After my aunt and uncle left i finally got ahold of Tim and my mom again and let them know I was being kept there but that I wouldnt be pregnant much longer, they had to take him soon for my life not his. My body was slowly trying to shut it self down to save him. I didnt sleep good that night at all, alone in a hospital attached to machines and being poked and prodded by nurses every couple hours isnt fun and I didnt miss that. I couldnt wait for Tim to get back. I was thankful though that at least this time we had a couple days to digest the fact that we would have a baby in the NICU. I remember breaking down out of fear and worry a few times, I can remember the thoughts that went through my head every second leading up to the surgery. I was so out of it the day he was born, the mag did a number on me and I looked like shit when my mom got there before they took me back for prep. I remember that all too familiar cold feeling your body gets after being numbed, the knowledge that you are naked on an OR table infront of a good sized group of people that you dont really know. I just wanted it over. I remember them all talking and saying he was a boy and out and waiting for that first cry or more like wimper from him. I remember hear that Tim cut the cord again and tell him to stay with our son. This time with the c-section they used pitocin in my IV as they were closing me up to help stop or slow the bleeding since it was found that they reason I had issues last time was that I have a clotting disorder. I was so drugged up from the surgery and the mag and everything else that I was not allowed out of bed for a couple days and then when i did get out of bed after that I had to have some one walk with me but me being me stopped bugging the nurses and just had Tim help me and started doing everything myself again and boy walking when you are that drugged is no fun, you have no balance at all and are totally weak, I was only allowed to go see my son after 24+ hours and had to be in a wheel chair, I wasnt allowed to walk for some time. I remember after they finally took me off of everything and I was oked to take a shower (like a week later) I made the mistake of letting Tim go eat and taking a steamy hot shower, I blacked out for a few seconds and was pretty light headed for some time after that but I felt human again at least. </div>
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Unlike Dante who spent roughly two months in the NICU, Trystan only spent three weeks. When Tim last saw him the night he was born he was only on oxygen and no blue light bed for jaundice. That next day when I saw him he was on room air! They told us that he didnt even stay on the O2 that night and that he was doing amazing on the colostrum that I was pumping for him and they couldnt believe that roughly 24 hours later I was getting as much out as I was. I was set on giving him the best and that I did. He was so different from Dante, Dante struggled to gain weight and Trystan was gaining ounces on ounces daily sometimes even over a pound in 24 hours! My milk was doing what it was suppost to do, and then it hit. Was the reason that Dante had weight problems because of me? Was it cause I wasnt able to supple him with my milk when he needed it most? I still look at him to this day and wonder that. I know there is no way to know if his size is just meant to be or cause I couldnt give him what nature knew he needed. I was so happy the day that they told us he could go home, we roomed in with him in one of the l&d suites and that night was great, I didnt mind the fact that we had to get up ever few hours to feed him and for me to pump, we were taking care of our baby and we were not being bugged. This time, this NICU stay we were both so much more relaxed and prepared, I still suffered from PPD but this time I was able to over come it while there and be there for my son every day that I could be.<br />
Im so happy to say that Trystan is now almost 10 months old and 18 pounds, way bigger then his brother was at this age and doing so well. I was able to exclusively pump for 6 months and had enough frozen milk to last him till 7 months of age. He isnt a year yet and I know since we are going through flu and cold season that he could catch something that can send him back into the hospital but Im not feeling as worried this time. I know what I am doing even if I am doing some different parenting things.<br />
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My boys are a blessing and miracles. They may be a part of the statistic but you know what they made me stronger and a better person/parent. I would love to see that sometime in their lifetime that premature birth is completely wiped out and all babies are able and allowed to stay in the womb till they are ready to come out but I know there will always be those times when moms life is in danger or something just happens.<br />
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Links:</div>
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<a href="http://www.marchofdimes.com/mission/prematurity_reportcard.html?src=edd_chapter_mn_121113" target="_blank">USA Premature Birth Report Card</a></div>
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<a href="http://grahamsfoundation.org/blog.html?fb_18405866_anch=27797328" target="_blank">How To Talk To Preemie Parents</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carole-presern/world-prematurity-day-tog_b_2122474.html" target="_blank">Lets Change The Face Of Preterm Birth</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.healthynewbornnetwork.org/blog/true-power-parents" target="_blank">The True Power Of Parents</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/AintNoRollerCoaster" target="_blank">Ain't No Roller Coaster ~ Facebook</a> (Preemie mom page with links to March Of Dimes articles, she also has a blog that is really helpful)</div>
<br />Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-16291394136830766012012-11-15T21:36:00.001-08:002012-11-15T21:36:03.702-08:00Dislike Coconut Oil In My Hair, Never Again!I would rather put up with frizzy hair then stiff greasy hair from coconut oil. I did a coconut oil leave in treatment on my hair last night but coating my hair in it and letting it sit over night and most of today and then washed my hair and well I do not like it! I dont want to wash my hair again so I will just have to keep rinsing my hair every morning with plain water and hope that it works out of my hair. I mean it would be great if I want a natural styling gel but that is it. Ugg after this I cant wait to try a egg mask on my hair either later this month or next.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeo7rvBnI96q4vQ2ciwJLz0r-gcLdHRJMXVONjXumKlx-HHNt3ejzLxS51Cqfh1YudgeMROoZOz1Qsf4M5c0HjN7b8m_I3UOsD_1HH9WnT5NEL3kbTytGdcZb6x8Gs1Bu2dFpuUjd3X6s/s1600/DSCN7726-horz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeo7rvBnI96q4vQ2ciwJLz0r-gcLdHRJMXVONjXumKlx-HHNt3ejzLxS51Cqfh1YudgeMROoZOz1Qsf4M5c0HjN7b8m_I3UOsD_1HH9WnT5NEL3kbTytGdcZb6x8Gs1Bu2dFpuUjd3X6s/s640/DSCN7726-horz.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ok the first one is my hair the morning after putting the coconut oil on it, it was totally still greasy and stiff.<br />The middle one is right after washing it, I could still tell it was super greasy and wasnt going to dry easily.<br />The last one is after it dried which took super long, its got a slightly stiff feeling and its greasy, not what i wanted.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First image is my hair after using commercial shampoo and conditioner.<br />The middle is after my second no-poo washing, i like my hair best in that photo.<br />The last one is after the coconut oil treatment and washing it, i do not like it at all, its too stringy looking, not soft or anything. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7E45dZVlABB6fv_arKtL9wLGx-XSrlu3BMxfDD6zFM-Hla5c9NBvKMP2w4EGi5j1TifgVPf-fil6rjPSROFWY22YjwittnmXRPoJrZEiPjHh3xN3RuLpg9cb9eQkSGsJ1ec9Aua-V2Cg/s1600/DSCN7563-tile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7E45dZVlABB6fv_arKtL9wLGx-XSrlu3BMxfDD6zFM-Hla5c9NBvKMP2w4EGi5j1TifgVPf-fil6rjPSROFWY22YjwittnmXRPoJrZEiPjHh3xN3RuLpg9cb9eQkSGsJ1ec9Aua-V2Cg/s640/DSCN7563-tile.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1st ~ after commercial products<br />2nd ~ after 1st no-poo washing<br />3rd ~ after second no-poo washing<br />4th ~ after third no-poo washing and coconut oil treatment</td></tr>
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<br />Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-56825911743397157992012-11-12T19:32:00.002-08:002012-11-12T19:32:36.661-08:00No-Poo Wash #2So far I am loving this, my hair seems softer and healthier and actually has a shine to it. Im still frizzy but I think that may just be how my hair is and I will be picking up some Organic 100% Coconut Oil tomorrow to use to help calm the frizz, hopefully.<br />
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One thing that I have really noticed is that my hair dries a lot faster now then is used to, yes I know its only my second wash but typically it takes three plus hours for it to fully dry and tonight it was dry in half the time. Also along with the added shine to my hair Im noticing natural high-lights and low-lights in it which are nice.<br />
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<br />Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-11211470444291542232012-11-10T16:33:00.002-08:002012-11-10T16:33:32.931-08:00Im Impatient, I Started No-Poo EarlyOk I know that I said I was going to wait till Sunday to start but I got bored since its been snowing off and on the last couple days and is too cold to do anything. Anyway I have photos and a comparison! So far after just one wash Im liking it. My hair doesnt seem as dry and the curls are slightly more defined, I really didnt think just one wash would make a difference but it seems it has. Im super excited to see what my hair will be like in a couple months!<br />
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Oh and also I have started this on Tim too even cause he has really bad dry scalp and Im hoping that maybe it will help him with that.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp95XYzISVne_2jDTXEjCqaWiZNtgKAD_lYWZB8l4WeSoXErlwkmOFIF7LQ7LV5TkVJxTmYahCeCCpRitNgxIUnsPwn_9Ckse0R2hGNpZA4Y9VoT726c64_kUhlZfwtNJk0sha-5ZaLsE/s1600/DSCN7634.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp95XYzISVne_2jDTXEjCqaWiZNtgKAD_lYWZB8l4WeSoXErlwkmOFIF7LQ7LV5TkVJxTmYahCeCCpRitNgxIUnsPwn_9Ckse0R2hGNpZA4Y9VoT726c64_kUhlZfwtNJk0sha-5ZaLsE/s400/DSCN7634.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The set-up (only half amount cause this was for Tim's hair)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh7PA-53fHwzFjuE75ELGK8r9w6VHX5PHYXJEndP-ILU21QX499MB3UVperNyfUabV7y3O_S5HaBJpLbalPV1ClGugSqApbP6IYIOlRYiOrfXRMEWJgT7lE1FG33pNSxbRg5QCWUgAHtY/s1600/DSCN7628.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh7PA-53fHwzFjuE75ELGK8r9w6VHX5PHYXJEndP-ILU21QX499MB3UVperNyfUabV7y3O_S5HaBJpLbalPV1ClGugSqApbP6IYIOlRYiOrfXRMEWJgT7lE1FG33pNSxbRg5QCWUgAHtY/s400/DSCN7628.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before, brushed out completely natural</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3kkyv7JL4J4_uNrr2C-RuMR19OE-Ii44Hm2ypMnXfInXvku7-ll7Yt7ldNm1P0b87hJh0EKUMNNr41z6s7DTGy0FiBY0qjleW7Z9mP6skVQH-PRKU2rnIgiTG1ku922Wckp24njab7uI/s1600/DSCN7630.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3kkyv7JL4J4_uNrr2C-RuMR19OE-Ii44Hm2ypMnXfInXvku7-ll7Yt7ldNm1P0b87hJh0EKUMNNr41z6s7DTGy0FiBY0qjleW7Z9mP6skVQH-PRKU2rnIgiTG1ku922Wckp24njab7uI/s400/DSCN7630.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After my first no-poo wash</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dried natural, no serums or gells or sprays</td></tr>
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<br />Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-15907133971032559832012-11-07T22:56:00.001-08:002012-11-07T22:56:52.592-08:00Last Hair Wash With Store Bought Shampoo and Conditioner! I'm kinda scared lol but i think thats normal when you realize that for at least the next month or so your hair is gonna be in limbo. Im really excited though to get my hair back to the way that nature intended for it to be and get it healthy. Im going to miss getting my highlights done too since coloring your hair when doing no-poo can make it very dry and brittle and I dont need that.<br />
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On Sunday night Im going to do the first wash with the baking soda and apple cider vinegar but with the vinegar i will be adding honey to the mix for extra softness and to hopefully cut the transition time down.<br />
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~ So here are my before no-poo photos ~ </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiduZDmUDVVPgmE92KKubCZQVEcim1AE6Yxdf_7f8Bk89GZ6Ph8bVSs0dxSFyhQg9dUBSeiD73SbCGMXd6W561FF9iu7W4vPIeI4CFIJI_8rD42j857HwYh4x8lv-ig5XYYCmt-_x_nanU/s1600/DSCN7552.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiduZDmUDVVPgmE92KKubCZQVEcim1AE6Yxdf_7f8Bk89GZ6Ph8bVSs0dxSFyhQg9dUBSeiD73SbCGMXd6W561FF9iu7W4vPIeI4CFIJI_8rD42j857HwYh4x8lv-ig5XYYCmt-_x_nanU/s400/DSCN7552.JPG" width="298" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My go to store bought shampoo and conditioner</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwCG5_Rc4NHosBV-Kp4z2rzHIXcibkgLYnGxOIyy8HbTmvCguaG9L_Uvmm2rmSoWmEtTEuINZii3Y3IsITsfoNBiIdhsDrV2_HoUBkiKJcKC2WP7vNTFUS_qxbKEWvcpHXMEYgFpZUOg/s1600/DSCN7553.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwCG5_Rc4NHosBV-Kp4z2rzHIXcibkgLYnGxOIyy8HbTmvCguaG9L_Uvmm2rmSoWmEtTEuINZii3Y3IsITsfoNBiIdhsDrV2_HoUBkiKJcKC2WP7vNTFUS_qxbKEWvcpHXMEYgFpZUOg/s400/DSCN7553.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Only thing missing is the spoon to measure and the honey</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy5sej9w1P6BN6wAscOXiY_1Ij9duPfmFoSMnO1fEnHM7YRpIhDxRmGGC6iDaZlqLlrbBIeerx7kPpfP-HtvcT1unHfALeGcV6nRFAO1-E637TaJ2zhf0RBDG7liLt0iJvTL1EolEQvqU/s1600/DSCN7550.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy5sej9w1P6BN6wAscOXiY_1Ij9duPfmFoSMnO1fEnHM7YRpIhDxRmGGC6iDaZlqLlrbBIeerx7kPpfP-HtvcT1unHfALeGcV6nRFAO1-E637TaJ2zhf0RBDG7liLt0iJvTL1EolEQvqU/s400/DSCN7550.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before my last wash with anti-frizz serum and spray</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmkLfFLJj-ha6B6cvvEa_vL04dXUFnYWUpmqVR1UJJlVkM2GJyNG-5bm8BdIjsdqidblgvBmv39vElVbyPeJFRHo4TJ9ulq8PeuUcvZYRn3mufy5AZrCvz7yb0c1Au7B_KBfW6pynRO2g/s1600/DSCN7558.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmkLfFLJj-ha6B6cvvEa_vL04dXUFnYWUpmqVR1UJJlVkM2GJyNG-5bm8BdIjsdqidblgvBmv39vElVbyPeJFRHo4TJ9ulq8PeuUcvZYRn3mufy5AZrCvz7yb0c1Au7B_KBfW6pynRO2g/s400/DSCN7558.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Towel dried just to show the length of my hair, Im itching to cut it again lol</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh57Rj31DqyiKnCBs38yjL8kTBvhZc-9I3AivdfixX1Qh-xuMllSpNfZkSi7zziRD8TcUOVnYW9H5jK1wuptR6lMvcc6cgMc8ivQ0OnnIHvn4RbWy_Xt-rDNtgpi2q1b4DQJnDWWCu0fOs/s1600/DSCN7560.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh57Rj31DqyiKnCBs38yjL8kTBvhZc-9I3AivdfixX1Qh-xuMllSpNfZkSi7zziRD8TcUOVnYW9H5jK1wuptR6lMvcc6cgMc8ivQ0OnnIHvn4RbWy_Xt-rDNtgpi2q1b4DQJnDWWCu0fOs/s400/DSCN7560.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See where its already starting to frizz</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nwVz1255HM_ECc3aG0viFex19LpZ-60RrTaDqnyf3Bg07xM_AJZtM-kvtYx-9e9UcvJb6BFBgWkMy70cv34_IDSZWR0Vagd8T9W3tLFnEenm7GMHKTg27PE_LKzQudbaUDWDSMMKpsY/s1600/DSCN7563.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nwVz1255HM_ECc3aG0viFex19LpZ-60RrTaDqnyf3Bg07xM_AJZtM-kvtYx-9e9UcvJb6BFBgWkMy70cv34_IDSZWR0Vagd8T9W3tLFnEenm7GMHKTg27PE_LKzQudbaUDWDSMMKpsY/s400/DSCN7563.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Full air dried naturally, no serums or sprays or anything. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKIWPq79O_JC43Q2nuG-Rp24IyanzcvvATIeSEesT7GjJ-j39HKGqt2xuqxnLXVXPliZ1_oNsasFTUyX9OPStecZGH4XyipBzyxGi8NJw3B79gGDXfc9-OtW1CAoMjVW74XIf32p1Kbyc/s1600/DSCN7565.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKIWPq79O_JC43Q2nuG-Rp24IyanzcvvATIeSEesT7GjJ-j39HKGqt2xuqxnLXVXPliZ1_oNsasFTUyX9OPStecZGH4XyipBzyxGi8NJw3B79gGDXfc9-OtW1CAoMjVW74XIf32p1Kbyc/s400/DSCN7565.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can tell my hair is not healthy and its so dry. I want my curls back!</td></tr>
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Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-15522282145754374212012-10-28T14:42:00.003-07:002012-10-28T14:42:40.677-07:00October ~ so many causes but only one apparently matters*I realize the month is almost over but Ive been putting this off*<br />
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No this isnt aimed at anyone is particular but Im just tired of so many important cause's/awareness's being over looked because society has deemed one more important then another. Seriously October is chalked full of them but they are all over shadowed by Breast Cancer Awareness. While I feel that it is a worthy cause I also feel that so many others need the attention that it gets but are totally walked on and ignored. So many other cause's mean so much to me and Im sure so many others also mean a lot to others as well but they never get to hear or know about them.<br />
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Anyway here is a couple links that have lists of all the cause's/awareness's<br />
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<a href="http://www.rubber-bracelets.com/awareness-monthly-calendar.htm">http://www.rubber-bracelets.com/awareness-monthly-calendar.htm</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.disabled-world.com/disability/awareness/awareness-dates.php#oct">http://www.disabled-world.com/disability/awareness/awareness-dates.php#oct</a>Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-73867177361621705012012-10-27T21:49:00.001-07:002012-10-27T21:49:10.741-07:00Possible Crunchy Lifestyle In The WorksIve been looking for ways to save on hair and skin care products and I think going crunchy and making my own with everyday house hold stuff will be the best way to do it. I will have to wait till the start of November to pick up the stuff that I need but I think it will be the best. Ive researched and read blog after blog on a few different things that I would love to try and Im still looking into a few others.<br />
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I first started looking into hair care alternatives after a big trend of no-poo hit and a few of my friends started doing it and noticed a difference. I would love to ditch the chemicals that are in commercial shampoos, conditioners and styling products so I think this would be great especially since my hair is thick, naturally curl and frizzy. Anyway the no-poo thing is using one cup water mixed with one tablespoon baking soda and used as the 'shampoo' by applying it to the roots and then rest of the hair and then rinsed off. Then you use one cup water mixed with one tablespoon vinegar as the 'conditioner' and apply it to the roots and the rest of the hair and rinsed out. A friend that lives a very crunchy life also used coconut oil as an anti-frizz by applying a small amount to hair and starting at the ends and working up. I know that there is an adjustment time that can last a couple months from the start of this that can make your hair either super oily or dry. I kinda hope that I can make it through the adjustment period lol<br />
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There is also another hair thing that I want to try that is kinda a hair mask I guess you could say. This involves two egg yolks, two tablespoons olive oil and then dilute it with a cup of water.Once mixed you massage it into you scalp and let it sit for 15 to 20 minutes before rinsing it out and washing your hair. Its rich in proteins, fatty acid and vitamins which are suppose to make your hair softer, shinier, healthier and easier to grow out.<br />
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As for the skin care there are a few things that Im curious about. One facial mask that Im wanting to try is two tablespoons of honey, two tablespoons of nutmeg and two tablespoons of milk. Mix and apply to face in an outward direction and let sit for 10-15 minutes before rinsing off. Its suppose to be good for fighting acne which is something I need during a certain time of the month.<br />
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This one Im going to <a href="http://www.expressnightout.com/2010/04/diy-natural-skin-care/" target="_blank">link the page</a> of since there are multiple recipes on it that I want to try. I really want to try the beer for the hair since I have heard only good things about it for years and also the chocolate face mask cause well who doesnt like the idea of chocolate being good for you lol<br />
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Anyway well thats only part of the things that I am looking into. There is also a thing called oil pulling that is to be very good for you but im still on the fence about whether or not I really want to try it or not. Anyway thats all for now.Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-46430739495978270142012-10-16T00:01:00.000-07:002012-10-16T00:01:03.292-07:00Pregnancy and Infant Loss<div style="text-align: justify;">
Such a taboo topic right? Well not for me. See I have now suffered 3, yes 3, losses the most recent being yesterday. Technically the medical society wouldnt even consider them a loss since they were all before 6 weeks gestation but to me a baby is a baby from the time of conception. Just because I didnt see a bean on an ultrasound, hear a heartbeat, feel a kick or flip, watch my tummy grow or any of those things I love about pregnancy doesnt mean I wasnt pregnant and doesnt mean there wasnt a tiny human growing in me all it means it that I have one more angel watching over my family and myself. </div>
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October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month (among many things) and today (yes Im cutting it close) October 15th, just like every year, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Its hard, after losing a pregnancy and then having the pregnancies of my two living boys cut dangerously short it hurts to see other become pregnant and carry full term. Its not that Im anger with them or wishing something to happen, Im truly happy for them all but I cant help but feel jealous and ask myself why me, why has all this happened to me. Every night for months after my first two loses i replayed it all in my head, could I have done something different, did they or are they doing something i didnt do? I know that its not up to me, that is up to my body and up to something greater then me. I honestly believe everything happens for a reason, doesnt help the pain but still. </div>
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Anyway this time, yesterday was the worst, it was the worst pain out of all of them. I was literally doubled over in pain on the kitchen floor rocking back and forth cause it hurt so bad, I knew something wasnt right when a warm bath didnt even help. It didnt even dawn on me what was happening till I saw that I had passed tissue and not just blood clots. The scary part is that I have an IUD in. The pain is gone and the blood is almost non existent, I just have to watch for a fever and more pain. This IUD is coming out and soon, I will not go through this again. The thing is before i got the Paragard IUD I researched and researched and researched it, I knew the risks but everything I read and was told was that it was super super rare for a women to get pregnant with one. Well apparently not cause a friend told me that a girl just went through the same thing and I have found story after story after story about this happening. This is just another case of people being played just so money can be made. Well after this I will never use birth control again, well I cant use hormonal birth control anyway due to allergies but I will never trust anything other then my body and will be charting from now on. </div>
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Ok so got kinda off topic... back to the loss. I remember I didnt tell Tim till after I took the bath, well I didnt realize thats what it was till then. I remember going down stairs and sitting down and saying its not a period that I was pregnant and the IUD made me lose it. I remember the look on Tims face and him asking me to go back upstairs with him so we could talk. We went into the bathroom and I broke down, he walked out of the room after Dante came in and asked why I was crying and Tim hit the wall with his hand. I didnt explain to Dante what was wrong just told him mommy was sick. I think he knew something else was wrong, he wouldnt leave us alone. </div>
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I remember the day of each loss even if I dont remember each exact date. I remember what it felt like each time. I know what its like to think about the what ifs every day and night. I hate the silence, the time when my head fills with the thoughts and fears and questions. Its bad enough that I may never be medically cleared to have more kids but the thoughts that float through my head of the children that could have been hurt. Im suppose to me happy and loving my children, enjoying the gear up for Halloween and making plans for Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays, not grieving for a child, for children that never will be. </div>
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*sigh* I read a post of facebook day talking about the loss of a child, it said that a child is not loss, they are not an object that can be misplaced. I will agree with that, they are not really loss, they are always and forever in my heart and soul, always watching over me. They are always just a silent moment away. Gone from this Earthly plane but never forgotten. </div>
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Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-70368365411520205062012-10-05T22:11:00.000-07:002012-10-05T22:11:02.369-07:00Baby Led Solids are NOT stupid or moronic or dangerous!<span style="font-family: inherit;">So yes as you can tell I still </span>haven't<span style="font-family: inherit;"> made my anti-circumcision post :( </span>I'm<span style="font-family: inherit;"> working on it I promise its just hard for me to read stories about it going wrong and putting down what I want to say about it without sounding too </span>um<span style="font-family: inherit;"> one-sided. Anyway...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As you can tell from the post title this is stemming off of something that was said to me either directly or indirectly. I will not take lightly to someone calling more or less to my face my informed decision to parent a certain way stupid or moronic or even dangerous, I may not agree with everything someone else does as a parent but I will not attack them for what they do that they believe is best or right for their family so do NOT treat me that way or you will possibly become a subject in my blog. There is a reason that I research things, there is a reason that I listen to my intuition and follow my mommy gut. We are designed to parent a certain way, the way that our ancestors did, the way that comes natural, not the way that society wants and think we should, their way is not always natural or good for us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When you start bad mouthing a parenting style and saying shit about it you better be able to back it up! Saying that you have researched it and not being able to back it up means little to nothing. Shit even reading just one article about something means shit, one biased piece of writing easily ruins everything. </span><br />
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<b><i><u><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Baby Led Solids</span></u></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><u style="font-style: italic;"><b>So first off what is baby led solids (bls)?</b></u> ~ Its mainly letting your child lead the way with foods the way that nature intended them too. In <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;">essence bls means no purees, no ice cube trays of homemade purees, no food processor to puree or baby friendly a food, no potato masher (although it can still comes in handy), no baby rice (not good for baby anyway and void practically all things healthy, will post a link below with more info and links about this), no weird fruit and veg combos (after all some just sound out of this world and gross) and NO spoons just baby hands… just you, your child and the rest of the family eating food that you enjoy together. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">You offer an age </span><span style="line-height: 17px;">appropriated</span><span style="line-height: 17px;"> baby (6+months) soft or soft-cooked table foods that are cut or slightly 'mashed' into small easy for baby to handle pieces or slices. Just sit either the cooled off cooked or raw food to baby in a bowl or on a highchair tray (never leave baby unattended and always watch for hunger cues) and let baby do the rest, you should not force baby to eat it or put any of it in babies mouth, baby is to be in 100% control leaving baby to decide when, what and how much to eat. Babies will learn to trust food and be more open to exploring different foods since they are not being forced to eat it. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><u style="font-style: italic; line-height: 17px;"><b>Make sure baby is ready for solids</b></u><span style="line-height: 17px;"> ~ </span><i><span style="line-height: 17px;">babies should NOT have solids before the age of 6 months (<a href="http://kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/delay-solids/" target="_blank">delaying solids</a>), especially if baby is exclusively breastfeed due to that anything other then breast milk can ruin the </span><span style="line-height: 17px;">stomach (<a href="http://www.drmomma.org/2010/10/virgin-gut.html" target="_blank">virgin gut</a>)</span><span style="line-height: 17px;"> of a baby leading to problems later in life. </span></i></span></span><br />
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<li><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Baby MUST be able to sit up unassisted</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Can easily grab small items and bring them to their mouth</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Knows how to chew on said things (watch your fingers if baby has teeth!)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Baby is constantly interested on food others are eating (not a true sign but most sites list it)</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Baby's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue_thrust" target="_blank">tongue thrust</a> (reverse swallow or immature swallow) relex is gone </span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><u style="font-style: italic; line-height: 17px;"><b>Cant a baby choke on solid pieces of f</b></u><span style="line-height: 18px;"><u style="font-style: italic;"><b>ood?</b></u> ~ Most the info and research that you will find on bls shows that the associated risk of a baby choking using this method is less then that off spoon feeding a baby. Its based on the research that a baby that is taught to eat solids with this method learns to chew sooner and thus is able to learn to move food from the back of the mouth/throat sooner and with intention to move it. A baby fed with a spoon and with purees will most likely suck the food into the back of their mouth/throat and not know how to deal with that and thus choke. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">BUT gagging is part of learning to eat with both solids AND purees. Gagging is a normal response to learning this new step in eating and allows the baby to be able to move the food that they can not swallow away from the back of the mouth/throat. Gagging = normal and good, you will know when baby is gagging cause baby will not be affected much by it, maybe watery eyes. You will know when/if baby chokes, baby will panic and look scared. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline;">Why wait till 6 months?</b> ~ By delaying solids till at least 6 months of age you are reducing the change of your baby having food allergies. Roughly around 6 months of age (or older) a baby's tummy starts producing a protein that protects the lining of the stomach and prevents allergen from being absorbed into the body. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;">What about baby cereal?</u><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> ~ Did you know that the iron in baby rice cereal is only 10% </span></span><span style="line-height: 18px;">digestible</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> and that the iron in breast milk is 70+% </span></span><span style="line-height: 18px;">digestible</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">? Iron fortified cereals for babies only started when formula companies could not get digestible/absorbable iron to put into their formula. <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/09/30/earlyshow/contributors/emilysenay/main575958.shtml" target="_blank">One study</a> has even linked baby cereal to diabetes. </span></span></div>
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<u style="font-family: inherit; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;">Are purees bad?</u><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> ~ Store bought baby food was 'invented' in the 1930's, although purees are not "bad" for baby think about they did before the 1930's. Most baby foods are over processed and full of preservatives, sugar, salt, etc... Purees only teach baby to swallow so when they do start eating more solid foods they want to swallow instead of chew and choking will happen making baby more afraid to eat. Also baby </span></span><span style="line-height: 18px;">isn't</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> in control and cant just stop when they are full, they wont be able to eat as much or little as they want or at their speed. Too many solids will also interfere with formula and breast milk intake which needs to be 75+% of babies diet for the first year. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><u style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">What about the mess?</u> ~ No worst then feeding a baby purees. Learning to eat is just a part of learning and the mess has never really bothered me but some tips:</span></div>
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<li><span style="line-height: 18px;">Strip baby down to only their diaper</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 18px;">Use a bib (although we only used them with out first and have not used one with our second)</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 18px;">Cover the floor, they sell plastic mats/covers to lay under tables and highchairs, you can also use old flooring</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 18px;">Expect the mess and have fun. </span></li>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;">That is what I know about it and have learned about it. So simple yet people tend to make it harder then it has to be. I find it so much simpler then buy and feeding with a spoon, pureeing foods and remembering if the left over in the fridge is still good or not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large; line-height: 18px;"><b><i><u>BLS Photo </u></i></b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><b><i><u>Bomb!</u></i></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><b><i><u>you have been warned lol</u></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><u>~ Sources ~</u></i></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://kellymom.com/nutrition/vitamins/iron/">http://kellymom.com/nutrition/vitamins/iron/</a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/delay-solids/">http://kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/delay-solids/</a><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://www.drmomma.org/2010/10/virgin-gut.html">http://www.drmomma.org/2010/10/virgin-gut.html</a><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://baby-led-solids.blogspot.com/">http://baby-led-solids.blogspot.com/</a><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/babyledweaning.htm#.UGugcZjR6E-">http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/babyledweaning.htm#.UGugcZjR6E-</a>Nicolle86http://www.blogger.com/profile/03767663208679444626noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3852517348029003084.post-44316750089993765292012-09-11T14:04:00.001-07:002012-09-11T14:16:29.710-07:00September 11, 2012 ~ 11 Years After<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;">11 years ago to day I was getting ready for school, i was a freshman in high school. I remember my mom telling me to come down stairs and looking on the tv and seeing smoke coming from the World Trade Center. I stood there as I listened to the panic, reading the words scrolling across the tv. By the time I got to school the second tower had been hit. I remember all of us being pulled out of school </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;">and sitting in the library watching the panic on tv. People were dying right in front of us, people were literally jumping from the towers to escape the fire, families were being torn apart and destroyed. I remember watching as the towers collapsed, feeling pain and terror from what was to come. I remember hearing that a third plane crashed into the Pentagon and that a forth plane crashed into a field possibly in route to the White House. This country would never be the same, no one would ever be the same. I sit here and wonder 11 years later if it could have been stopped, if those families could have been spared. I think about when my boys are old enough to ask about it, I think about what they will say when they learn about it in school. Will they truly understand the magnitude of the pain and destruction that happened? I pray that in their lifetime they are spared that amount of pain and sorrow.</span><br />
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I also remember the government wanting to hide the photos, the videos and the stories from the public. They didnt want people to see it anymore. That want people to move on like nothing happened. After awhile people stopped talking about it. It was a scar on the country that people wanted to cover up and hide, that some people still want to cover up and hide. I dont feel like hiding what happened. We need to always remember what happened, remember the lives that were lost. What happened brought us closer as a nation. </div>
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