This Is My Therapy: October 2012

Sunday, October 28, 2012

October ~ so many causes but only one apparently matters

*I realize the month is almost over but Ive been putting this off*

No this isnt aimed at anyone is particular but Im just tired of so many important cause's/awareness's being over looked because society has deemed one more important then another. Seriously October is chalked full of them but they are all over shadowed by Breast Cancer Awareness. While I feel that it is a worthy cause I also feel that so many others need the attention that it gets but are totally walked on and ignored. So many other cause's mean so much to me and Im sure so many others also mean a lot to others as well but they never get to hear or know about them.

Anyway here is a couple links that have lists of all the cause's/awareness's

http://www.rubber-bracelets.com/awareness-monthly-calendar.htm

http://www.disabled-world.com/disability/awareness/awareness-dates.php#oct

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Possible Crunchy Lifestyle In The Works

Ive been looking for ways to save on hair and skin care products and I think going crunchy and making my own with everyday house hold stuff will be the best way to do it. I will have to wait till the start of November to pick up the stuff that I need but I think it will be the best. Ive researched and read blog after blog on a few different things that I would love to try and Im still looking into a few others.

I first started looking into hair care alternatives after a big trend of no-poo hit and a few of my friends started doing it and noticed a difference. I would love to ditch the chemicals that are in commercial shampoos, conditioners and styling products so I think this would be great especially since my hair is thick, naturally curl and frizzy. Anyway the no-poo thing is using one cup water mixed with one tablespoon baking soda and used as the 'shampoo' by applying it to the roots and then rest of the hair and then rinsed off. Then you use one cup water mixed with one tablespoon vinegar as the 'conditioner' and apply it to the roots and the rest of the hair and rinsed out. A friend that lives a very crunchy life also used coconut oil as an anti-frizz by applying a small amount to hair and starting at the ends and working up. I know that there is an adjustment time that can last a couple months from the start of this that can make your hair either super oily or dry. I kinda hope that I can make it through the adjustment period lol

There is also another hair thing that I want to try that is kinda a hair mask I guess you could say. This involves two egg yolks, two tablespoons olive oil and then dilute it with a cup of water.Once mixed you massage it into you scalp and let it sit for 15 to 20 minutes before rinsing it out and washing your hair. Its rich in proteins, fatty acid and vitamins which are suppose to make your hair softer, shinier, healthier and easier to grow out.

As for the skin care there are a few things that Im curious about. One facial mask that Im wanting to try is two tablespoons of honey, two tablespoons of nutmeg and two tablespoons of milk. Mix and apply to face in an outward direction and let sit for 10-15 minutes before rinsing off. Its suppose to be good for fighting acne which is something I need during a certain time of the month.

This one Im going to link the page of since there are multiple recipes on it that I want to try. I really want to try the beer for the hair since I have heard only good things about it for years and also the chocolate face mask cause well who doesnt like the idea of chocolate being good for you lol

Anyway well thats only part of the things that I am looking into. There is also a thing called oil pulling that is to be very good for you but im still on the fence about whether or not I really want to try it or not. Anyway thats all for now.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Such a taboo topic right? Well not for me. See I have now suffered 3, yes 3, losses the most recent being yesterday. Technically the medical society wouldnt even consider them a loss since they were all before 6 weeks gestation but to me a baby is a baby from the time of conception. Just because I didnt see a bean on an ultrasound, hear a heartbeat, feel a kick or flip, watch my tummy grow or any of those things I love about pregnancy doesnt mean I wasnt pregnant and doesnt mean there wasnt a tiny human growing in me all it means it that I have one more angel watching over my family and myself.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month (among many things) and today (yes Im cutting it close) October 15th, just like every year, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Its hard, after losing a pregnancy and then having the pregnancies of my two living boys cut dangerously short it hurts to see other become pregnant and carry full term. Its not that Im anger with them or wishing something to happen, Im truly happy for them all but I cant help but feel jealous and ask myself why me, why has all this happened to me. Every night for months after my first two loses i replayed it all in my head, could I have done something different, did they or are they doing something i didnt do? I know that its not up to me, that is up to my body and up to something greater then me. I honestly believe everything happens for a reason, doesnt help the pain but still.

Anyway this time, yesterday was the worst, it was the worst pain out of all of them. I was literally doubled over in pain on the kitchen floor rocking back and forth cause it hurt so bad, I knew something wasnt right when a warm bath didnt even help. It didnt even dawn on me what was happening till I saw that I had passed tissue and not just blood clots. The scary part is that I have an IUD in. The pain is gone and the blood is almost non existent, I just have to watch for a fever and more pain. This IUD is coming out and soon, I will not go through this again. The thing is before i got the Paragard IUD I researched and researched and researched it, I knew the risks but everything I read and was told was that it was super super rare for a women to get pregnant with one. Well apparently not cause a friend told me that a girl just went through the same thing and I have found story after story after story about this happening. This is just another case of people being played just so money can be made. Well after this I will never use birth control again, well I cant use hormonal birth control anyway due to allergies but I will never trust anything other then my body and will be charting from now on.

Ok so got kinda off topic... back to the loss. I remember I didnt tell Tim till after I took the bath, well I didnt realize thats what it was till then. I remember going down stairs and sitting down and saying its not a period that I was pregnant and the IUD made me lose it. I remember the look on Tims face and him asking me to go back upstairs with him so we could talk. We went into the bathroom and I broke down, he walked out of the room after Dante came in and asked why I was crying and Tim hit the wall with his hand. I didnt explain to Dante what was wrong just told him mommy was sick. I think he knew something else was wrong, he wouldnt leave us alone.

I remember the day of each loss even if I dont remember each exact date. I remember what it felt like each time. I know what its like to think about the what ifs every day and night. I hate the silence, the time when my head fills with the thoughts and fears and questions. Its bad enough that I may never be medically cleared to have more kids but the thoughts that float through my head of the children that could have been hurt. Im suppose to me happy and loving my children, enjoying the gear up for Halloween and making plans for Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays, not grieving for a child, for children that never will be.

*sigh* I read a post of facebook day talking about the loss of a child, it said that a child is not loss, they are not an object that can be misplaced. I will agree with that, they are not really loss, they are always and forever in my heart and soul, always watching over me. They are always just a silent moment away. Gone from this Earthly plane but never forgotten.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Baby Led Solids are NOT stupid or moronic or dangerous!

So yes as you can tell I still haven't made my anti-circumcision post :( I'm working on it I promise its just hard for me to read stories about it going wrong and putting down what I want to say about it without sounding too um one-sided. Anyway...

As you can tell from the post title this is stemming off of something that was said to me either directly or indirectly. I will not take lightly to someone calling more or less to my face my informed decision to parent a certain way stupid or moronic or even dangerous, I may not agree with everything someone else does as a parent but I will not attack them for what they do that they believe is best or right for their family so do NOT treat me that way or you will possibly become a subject in my blog. There is a reason that I research things, there is a reason that I listen to my intuition and follow my mommy gut. We are designed to parent a certain way, the way that our ancestors did, the way that comes natural, not the way that society wants and think we should, their way is not always natural or good for us.

When you start bad mouthing a parenting style and saying shit about it you better be able to back it up! Saying that you have researched it and not being able to back it up means little to nothing. Shit even reading just one article about something means shit, one biased piece of writing easily ruins everything.

Baby Led Solids

So first off what is baby led solids (bls)? ~ Its mainly letting your child lead the way with foods the way that nature intended them too. In essence bls means no purees, no ice cube trays of homemade purees, no food processor to puree or baby friendly a food, no potato masher (although it can still comes in handy), no baby rice (not good for baby anyway and void practically all things healthy, will post a link below with more info and links about this), no weird fruit and veg combos (after all some just sound out of this world and gross) and NO spoons just baby hands… just you, your child and the rest of the family eating food that you enjoy together.

You offer an age appropriated baby (6+months) soft or soft-cooked table foods that are cut or slightly 'mashed' into small easy for baby to handle pieces or slices. Just sit either the cooled off cooked or raw food to baby in a bowl or on a highchair tray (never leave baby unattended and always watch for hunger cues) and let baby do the rest, you should not force baby to eat it or put any of it in babies mouth, baby is to be in 100% control leaving baby to decide when, what and how much to eat. Babies will learn to trust food and be more open to exploring different foods since they are not being forced to eat it.

Make sure baby is ready for solids ~ babies should NOT have solids before the age of 6 months (delaying solids), especially if baby is exclusively breastfeed due to that anything other then breast milk can ruin the stomach (virgin gut) of a baby leading to problems later in life.

Baby MUST be able to sit up unassisted
Can easily grab small items and bring them to their mouth
Knows how to chew on said things (watch your fingers if baby has teeth!)
Baby is constantly interested on food others are eating (not a true sign but most sites list it)
Baby's tongue thrust (reverse swallow or immature swallow) relex is gone

Cant a baby choke on solid pieces of food? ~ Most the info and research that you will find on bls shows that the associated risk of a baby choking using this method is less then that off spoon feeding a baby. Its based on the research that a baby that is taught to eat solids with this method learns to chew sooner and thus is able to learn to move food from the back of the mouth/throat sooner and with intention to move it. A baby fed with a spoon and with purees will most likely suck the food into the back of their mouth/throat and not know how to deal with that and thus choke.

BUT gagging is part of learning to eat with both solids AND purees. Gagging is a normal response to learning this new step in eating and allows the baby to be able to move the food that they can not swallow away from the back of the mouth/throat. Gagging = normal and good, you will know when baby is gagging cause baby will not be affected much by it, maybe watery eyes. You will know when/if baby chokes, baby will panic and look scared.

Why wait till 6 months? ~ By delaying solids till at least 6 months of age you are reducing the change of your baby having food allergies. Roughly around 6 months of age (or older) a baby's tummy starts producing a protein that protects the lining of the stomach and prevents allergen from being absorbed into the body.

What about baby cereal? ~ Did you know that the iron in baby rice cereal is only 10% digestible and that the iron in breast milk is 70+% digestible? Iron fortified cereals for babies only started when formula companies could not get digestible/absorbable iron to put into their formula. One study has even linked baby cereal to diabetes.

Are purees bad? ~ Store bought baby food was 'invented' in the 1930's, although purees are not "bad" for baby think about they did before the 1930's. Most baby foods are over processed and full of preservatives, sugar, salt, etc... Purees only teach baby to swallow so when they do start eating more solid foods they want to swallow instead of chew and choking will happen making baby more afraid to eat. Also baby isn't in control and cant just stop when they are full, they wont be able to eat as much or little as they want or at their speed. Too many solids will also interfere with formula and breast milk intake which needs to be 75+% of babies diet for the first year.

What about the mess? ~ No worst then feeding a baby purees. Learning to eat is just a part of learning and the mess has never really bothered me but some tips:

Strip baby down to only their diaper
Use a bib (although we only used them with out first and have not used one with our second)
Cover the floor, they sell plastic mats/covers to lay under tables and highchairs, you can also use old flooring
Expect the mess and have fun.

That is what I know about it and have learned about it. So simple yet people tend to make it harder then it has to be. I find it so much simpler then buy and feeding with a spoon, pureeing foods and remembering if the left over in the fridge is still good or not.

BLS Photo Bomb!

you have been warned lol