Wednesday, December 4, 2013
We have now been in our new home for over a month. It still doesnt feel anything like home though. There is of course something missing. I havent been able to bring myself to go back to Fossil and go to the house. Im scared to go back...scared of what may happen to me if I go near it. I have in my head an image of what it looks like now that its been practically abandoned by the family. I may be miles away from that place but I can feel the pull of it so strong. I know I need to go back one last time to completely close that chapter of my life but I just cant make myself do it. I think of home everyday, I think of what was left there. All the memories and years spent there. The thought of never being in that house again, never having the family gathered around the table during the holidays. I miss when I was younger and would come home from school and the house would smell of my grandmothers cooking and grandpa would be easy to find out in the shop. Memories are constantly haunting me, they follow me everywhere I go. I will do or say something that reminds me of home. I will freeze and watch images of the past float through my head. My old life had been invading my present life so much I find it hard to consentrate on much of anything anymore.