Sunday, June 26, 2011

The EMAIL! This Is A Good Read!

So I figured its safe to share the email from Tim's parents that caused my last rant. I will imput on it ir red just like my teachers used to do lol this should be fun.

Tim I don't know who you have been listening to but we never ever expected you to be perfect and your sister is not perfect either. We never ever told you that you had to be like Tracy. We never once compared the two of you and you know it and we never would do that to our child. Really is that why Tim tells me stories all the time about how everything he did was never good enough and that how when his sister got good grades she was always bought new things and he never got anything! You are right about one thing though right now. We only have a daughter because our son is being an ass. As to the attack on Nikki that was not started by us and you know it but are just to stubborn to admit it. Oh really then why is it that all the attacks can be found on their facebook pages and not mine!  Why was it always started by their fb statuses calling me names and saying I was abusing? And yes I have proof. We do know one thing for sure and that is that your word is worth absolutely nothing. When you picked Dante up that last time you came in here crying about how bad things were there and that you didn't want to go back there. Umm no if I remember right it was about how my family members that DONT live here where treating us and it has drastically changed since then and they respect us now. You also promised us that despite Nikki saying we would never see Dante again that you would make sure that we had a relationship with our grandson. Ya well this official cut off from Dante was Tim's choice cause of what they did to us, to me after they found out I had/was going through a miscarriage. Do you know how to tell the truth at all anymore? lol apparently we arent the only ones. She has problems that she needs professional help for. Oh you mean my depression, my ADHD, my PTSD and my anxiety/panic attacks? Wow way to use those as a weapon like that wont make it worst for me, after all Im Pagan and believe in natural ways of dealing with things. We know that you love her. It is our right to like or dislike a person. Then you will face the consequences cause we are a packaged deal. Who else attacked Nikki in your eyes? Lets see his mom, his sister, and three of his cousins (I will not post names). Think about this. If we came to your house and we said vile, nasty and unimaginable things to you two and made accusations and told lies about us harming our grandson would you want that person to come around again? Would you stand for that in your own home? If you have even a small piece of the young man that we raised your answer would be a quick and definite NO. Well no neither of us would but I never said vile, nasty and unimaginable things and no way in hell did I ever say they were harming our son! If you are honest the answer would be a strong NO. She has said stuff to us that was uncalled for and most of which is lies. The only things that I ever said in their home was stuff to defend myself and my family! They attack my in their home by calling me names accusing me of being unfit and what they expect me to not defend myself just cause its their home, I dont think so!  You can keep saying our son all you like about Dante but you cannot change the fact that he is our grandson and will always be our grandson regardless of what you say. But he is OUR SON and I dont care if you are technically his grandparents that doesnt change all the crap you have done and said and that NEITHER of us want you in our or his life. That is a fact that cannot be changed just because you want it to be. We do not want you to live by our rules. LOL ya right. We know that you are a grown up, at the moment once again you are not acting like it. Really I though standing up for yourself and making your voice and opinions and thoughts know was being an adult? You seem to think that because you have a son that that makes you better than Tracy. It does not and how do you know she hasn't given us a grandchild or isn't pregnant right now since you have cut all of your family out of your life? Um cause you said that you are glad Tim gave you a grandchild and that you wished Tracy would too, and since you had the gal to email him and say that you got a new dog that you would do so if she was pregnant lol also we havent cut out all of his family just a good handful. We do not have a problem with you being with Nikki. That is your choice and we know that you love her. Didnt they already say this just with different works? Just because you love her does not mean that we have to ignore our values that you were raise by too and ignore our feelings. Fine just dont push them on us or OUR son. This is not about Nikki it is about Dante and you seem to have lost sight of that fact. Umm ya they are the ones making it all about me and not my son, they are the ones that brought my name into this last year and made it all about me. We will not stand by and let anyone come to our home and then attack us verbally and then spread lies about us to everyone that will listen to her. Lies! lol ya sure believe what you want. I guess you have a very short memory. When Dante was born it was you who ask for our help because you wanted to leave her. Umm ya only cause he was scared of raising a preemie and wanted to leave me for another women that had two kids, but now look at us happy!  When we finally got to see and get to know Dante last summer it was Nikki that flipped out over something that you guys had both told us it was okay to do. The mature thing would have been that if you had changed your minds to give us a call and we would have stopped what you guys had already approved. Just because if it were reversed and it was us that had a child and ask for something to not be done or used and we called to ask you to stop it do not paint us with the same brush because we would have stopped whatever it really was that made her go ballistic. Oh the whole toothbrush issue! I almost forgot about this lol.  Lets see first off when we left Dante there we said to use the toothbrush we sent, so they went and bought an electrict one!  They called and told us, Tim said it was ok but I told him no they use only the one we sent cause I want him to learn.  They are the ones that after being told to stop refused and kept doing it, going against the wishes of the parents, ya I went ballistic! You can keep telling yourselves that Dante is your son but it will never change the fact that he is our grandson. Again didnt they already say this? If to much time goes by before we see him again it will go to court. Grandparents have rights to their grandkids. lol this makes me laugh! I have read up on grandparents rights here in Oregon and guess what they have the burden to prove that we are unfit, that we are harming him from not letting him around them and they have to have had contact for at least six months prier to the filing!  Ya they havent had contact with him for about eight months! Nice try especially since he is super super happy and healthy without them.  Can you afford a court battle because let me tell you we will go to court to get court ordered visitation rights if we have to. Um well since he is on state assistance he court fee will be paid for by the state so ya we can afford it. That is not what we want to do but we will if we have to. You are doing all of this based on lies. You can also tell us every day for the rest of your life that we no longer have a son but that is a fact that you cannot change either. While you guys are playing your little power games I guess it doesn't matter about your son. Um wait what? Are you saying that we arent focused on taking care of him? Ya what ever. We will readily admit that it is hard not being in his life but what you guys are doing to that boy by denying him to know his own grandparents is hurting him. Really cause what he doesnt know wont hurt him, get a life. Who knows what lies he has heard but you know deep down in there were that young man we raised is that we would never ever do anything to harm one hair on that angles head. First off its spelled angel and secondly we have never told him a lie and not to mention he is too young to understand. You can delete it but just remember the next time you need money or a place to stay for a a day or two that we may not always be here to let you stay. Find we have friends and I have family. You can only slap us in the face so many times with your behavior before we will not be there to help when you really need it. Since we don't have a son any longer in your eyes, go to Nikki's page on 365 and read a letter on there that she posted. Umm 365 what? Sorry 365project is a photo blog only so there is no letter posted there lol Nikki if you are the one reading this go ahead and delete it we have copies, anyway Tim you go on there and read that letter and you may not be so eager to stand up for her. She posted a letter on there that she readily admits that she has been cheating on you with another man. Oh they must mean on here my blog! Well they are stalking me now.  And as for the post admitting that I cheated well he knows and it says point blank in there otherwise I wouldnt have posted it. We have worked everything out, moved on and gotten stronger cause of it. Talk about putting dumb stuff on line that one is up there near the top. I could care less right now if you come or not. You need to grow up and take off your rose colored glasses. Never ever accuse us again of picking your sister over you because she is the perfect child. We never ever said or did anything to make you think that let alone speak it. refere to beginning of email lol Know where that came from. Nobody is perfect and we never pitted one child against the other. We never told you that you needed to be like Tracy or ever even compared you to her. You cannot do that if you love your child and we loved both of our children. parents always prefere on child over the other and from the stories they prefered Tracy over Tim. I think you might have burned your last bridge today. GOOD! It would be a shame if we had to sue you to see our grandchild. Go ahead We may not care for his mother but we are mature enough that he will never hear that from our lips or any other way. Bullshit! My advise to you two is to go and get some professional help if you really love each other. Umm what? If we love eachother we need help! Nikki's behavior is not that of someone who claims they love you. Oh lol Neither one of your guys behavior is that of a mature person. You will always be our son but that does not mean that we have to agree with everything you say and think. It does not mean that we have to be there for you when you need help. I guess you forgot all that we did to help you get your Social Security um maybe cause you had to so you/he could afford his meds and appointments and not one but two trucks. I guess you don't remember how hard we worked to get you an apartment to live in on your own and made sure that you had food to eat. Didnt have too. That is okay. You seem to have grown up in a totally different home that the one you did. At the moment I could care less if we see you anytime soon but just remember we will not wait forever for you to grow up and let us back in Dante's live. We will take you to court for court ordered visitation rights. Again repeating what was already said! Very annoying. Despite what you may think we do have some rights concerning Dante. I never told you this before but since you don't plan on seeing us ever again why not. When you guys came here to stay for a few days the last time because there was a lot of fighting going on there and you wanted Dante out of there, I saw Nikki slap Dante and scream vile and vulgar names at you son. You know why? He was bothering her while she was watching a soap opera. Several family members saw with their own eyes how afraid Dante is of his own so called Mother. Oh I have been waiting for this one! Lets see that time we stayed there was during the weekend when soaps ARE NOT ON! Imagine that lol I would NEVER SLAP or YELL VILE and VULGAR things at my own son. And that would mean that none of their family members could have seen that! Grow up and stop making up lies! Chew on that for a while but do not contact us bitching about what we have told you. We can't believe a word that comes out of your mouth. You tell lies and promises that you never keep. Very abrupt end.
 Wow thats a lot of red! Well there you have it, the email that caused my hissy fit lol. Well what you all think?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Calling My Followers!

You now can immerse yourself in the life of the man in my life that you hear so much about!  He has started his own blogging and just like me has two separate one.  I have the pleasure, I think lol, of sharing the links to his blogs with you all.  Please if you could follow his blogs for me.

Let Them Fucking Threaten Court, We Could Careless!

Tim's parents are at it again! I thought we got rid of them.  They are once again playing head games and threatening court.  They are trying to make me out as the bad person and use history as their weapon against me to get Tim so agree with them.  When he read this newest email he almost threw his computer and stormed upstairs. He is tired of this shit and just wants to live his life his way and thats currently without them in it.  It hurts me when I see him hurting, he doesnt need this and neither does our son.  We are his parents and we made the choice to cut them out, this last time was Tim's choice.  They are after me cause if have 'problems' that need professional help for! Fucking people! Im a Pagan and I believe in natural remedies, I dont want to dop myself up to where I cant take care of my son!  I have been fine this last year, just dealing with life!  Since I started working out daily and lossing weight I havent once felt depression or any of that crap, I look forward to waking up in the morning, going to the gym, taking walks with Dante and Tim.  I love playing outside with my son now that its warm enough to do so.  Oh and Im also pretty sure they are stalking my blogs, they mentioned something in the email that neither of us can figure out other then it refering to my blog.  They mentioned about me cheating on Tim, and I have only talked about it here.  Ya I fucked up but he forgave me, we moved on and we are stronger, big fucking deal, its not like Tim hasnt screwed up like that since he has been with me, bet they dont know that!  Ugg stupid people do stupid things like Tim would say lol They also said that the last time we stayed out there that they and other members of the family saw me slap my son and yell at him for inturupting my daytime soaps! First off we stayed during the weekend so there wasnt any soaps one! Secondly I would never hit or yell at my son!  He is my baby, my miracle baby!  Im not every going to do anything that would hurt him.  They also said that they could tell he was 'scared of his so called mom', thats bullshit! If he was so scared of me then why is it he is always coming to me to be held when he is hurt or gets in trouble by daddy?  Why does he cuddle on my lap when he is tired and not his dads?  They just need to leave us alone and get it threw their heads that they are done, they no longer have a son, no longer have a grandson. They have crossed the line on too many times! 

Friday, June 10, 2011

All Creatures Great and Small

It may be cause of my Paganistic personality or just my natural soft heart for all things living but I have realized that I have been watching and paying very close attention to the animals that I have been seeing.  I care about all things living, they all in one way or another play an important roll in the ecosystem and I may say that ya I hate this creature or this creature but honestly I don't.  Some scare me, or creep me out or what not but I cant hate a living creature that is just doing what comes naturally to it, whether it be protecting itself, its family, trying to survive by hunting prey to eat.  This has been on my mind a lot lately since a local news station broke the story of a cougar that was trying to be trapped due to being spotted among some houses located in a part of a forest.  I'm sad to say that they did capture it and dispose of it :(  its sad that people cant see that we are invading their territory, that these animals have more of a right to this land then we do.  Yes there is always a SLIM chance that a person could be attacked but only if the animal feels threatened or the person is just being plain stupid (at which point I say the person is just asking for it).  I was skimming the news channel again looking at stories and there have been two more spotted and I'm just worried that they will meet the same fate because they are just in wrong place at the wrong time.  No animals should ever be killed when there are other things that can be done, like relocating them. 

Anyway . . . As for me paying more attention to the animals around me I have noticed birds more then anything.  I usually notice them when they are doing something strange or funny though and I never seem to have a video camera on me.  Two things that really stick in my memory is one day walking out of the gym I could hear something on the tin roof and looked up to see a bird bathing in the gutter, I got a good laugh out of that.  The other was a couple days ago when coming out of the gym I happened to glance up the hill and saw a bird trying to run up the hill packing something.  As I watched longer I noticed it was packing a feather that was easily twice its own size.  To add to this even more it was kinda windy which was not is the birds favor lol poor little thing kept loosing the feather and would have to run to pick it back up and then try to run back up the hill with it again.  I got a good kick out of it. 

I will say though that a lot of the things that have been happening with animals to be lately are not all happy, amusing or cute.  Since its getting warming snakes are now out and we have to be careful on our afternoon/evening walks.  We have seen a bull snake laying along the road in the grass, a water snake along the road that I chased off so the dog wouldn't go after it and the other day a rattler laying right in the middle of the road.  Wasn't sure if it was alive or dead (leaning towards live at the time, no signs of it being hurt but when I threw a rock at it it didn't move and didn't move when we walked by it).  Needless to say the next day it was smashed in the road and very gross looking.  Plus driving home at night when we go somewhere I'm usually good at not hitting any but last night wasn't able to avoid one and drove right over the middle of the poor thing, surprising wasn't all that upset about it.  Probably about 45 minutes earlier I was paying attention to the road but still somehow managed to hit a small bird, made me feel like crap.  I'm not even sure how I hit it either.  Neither Tim or I ever saw the bird in the road or anything and I just remember seeing it bounce off the hood and then hitting the window and scaring the shit out of me!  The rest of the way home I couldn't stop seeing in the back of my mind what I saw when I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw when it landed and bounced on the road.  I'm the type of person that gets sick when I hit an animal and should really learn not to look in the mirror, I'm the type of person that when I hit a bunny last year had to go back and move it out of the road cause I couldn't stomach someone else running if over.  I know some people consider that pathetic and weak but its why I dream of one day being a veterinarian so I can help animals.  I think I'm rambling lol anyway I had to keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and even prayed to the Goddess of the Earth to forgive for taking a life of one of her creatures. 

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


So life is still going here and thats about it lol few things if any have changed.  Tim has been working odd jobs here and there but nothing permenant or that pays much.  It really irritates me that some of the people here wont even give him a chance.  We finally talked, kinda, about him staying with a friend over in Redmond/Bend and getting a job and saving money so we could get a place and move but there is no one that he could realistically stay with.  Not to mention if we did find someone that he could stay with and was able to save up money we still have a huge road block when it comes to getting into a place.  Tim has a record and I think half the time he forgets about it, but its always on my mind. 

Anyway, I have came to the conclusion that I must at least try my hardest to get along with my mother, at least for my son.  She showed up alone for a few days and although we had it out when she first showed up things cooled off for the rest of the time she was here.  I have agreed that she may take Dante for a few to stay with her but Im still unsure if its a good idea.  Im still extremely pissed at what she did, about her lying to me and acting like Im stupid, but there isnt anything that I can do about it. 

So as of recently I have practically threw out my workout plan and doing it freestyle, I figure since I will be in shorts alot from now one that I need to at least try to tan my legs and I may have made a good dent at it.  I layed in the sun, rotating, for a couple hours today and when outside my legs still looked stark white but a couple hours later after our walk my legs started to burn!  I pulled up my pant leg and my leg was red and hurting!  Ya just great lol so maybe for once I will have tanned legs to show off in shorts.