So Much On My Mind

There is so much that is going through my mind but so much of it I just cant bring myself to say.  I mean it truly seems like this year I am cursed.  I cant think of one thing that has went the way I need it to go or one thing that has happened that is good.  And I know that I could sit here and dwell on the past and everything but that would not be good for me.  It wouldnt help me mentally, emotionally or physically.  It would strip me of all energy and light that I have.  I have to focus on the good things in my life.  I have a wonderful man by my side that is willing to protect me no matter what, I have an amazing 2 yr old little boy that has fought amazing odds to be here, I have my grandfather that I get to be with everyday and I have the best friends that a person could ask for.  Now if only either Tim or I could obtain a paying job and not have to rely on his and Dante's social security.  Although this month there are a few things that I am so looking forwards too.  One is tomorrow we are heading into town, Bend/Redmond, and besides shopping and seeing friends I am getting my snakebite piercings done!  For those that dont know they are a double lip piercing and I will post pics tomorrow.  Also this month I am so ordering a treadmill, I know that spring is coming but we are still having crappy ass weather that we are not able to walk in and also with a treadmill I can walk trice a day and not just once.  I want to walk for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening.  Last summer when I was walking for at least an hour a day I lost over 20 pounds and was so surprised that it was that easy.  I just cant wait.  Oh and I need to start looking for a new motor for my chevy and possibly a new computer :( oh well thats life.